12 Lies All Narcissists Tell

Did you know that you can always tell when a narcissist is lying? Just look for their lips moving. In this article, we’re delving into some heavy stuff, exposing common lies that narcissists use to manipulate and control their victims. Understanding these falsehoods is key to unraveling the complexities of narcissistic relationships, providing insight, and, hopefully, a path to closure.

Lie: “You’re safe with me; you can be vulnerable.”

This fabrication is the cornerstone of the love bombing phase. Narcissists aim to create an intense connection, making you feel like they’re the most trustworthy person in the world. However, any vulnerabilities you share are likely to be weaponized against you later on. It’s a manipulation tactic to lower your guard.

Lie: “My ex was insane.”

Whether they claim their ex was crazy or assert that their ex is their best friend, both scenarios may involve deception. They might be cheating with the ex, especially in the best-friend scenario. Pay attention to how they talk about past relationships; it reveals a lot about their character.

Lie: “You can count on me; you can depend on me.”

Narcissists often portray themselves as reliable and trustworthy, especially the covert narcissist. While they may help you when it suits them or enhances their image, true dependability is rare. Beware of those who insist on convincing you of their trustworthiness through words, not actions.

Lie: “This is all your fault.”

Blame-shifting is a common tactic used by narcissists to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. If you notice a pattern where nothing is ever their fault, it’s a clear sign of manipulation. They use blame to control and manipulate your perception of reality.

Lie: “I want the same things as you.”

Known as future faking, this lie involves promising a perfect future to keep you hooked. However, the narcissist continually moves the goalposts, creating an illusion that is never fulfilled. Be cautious of grand promises and unfulfilled commitments.

Lie: “I’ll change.”

The promise of change often surfaces when a narcissist fears losing something valuable. They may apologize or promise improvement, but it’s usually a tactic to regain control. Genuine change is rare, and the narcissist’s behavior typically reverts to its toxic patterns.

Lie: “I love you.”

While the words “I love you” might be spoken, the actions of a narcissist rarely align with genuine love. Love is used as a tool of manipulation, given and taken away strategically to maintain control. Understanding this harsh truth is crucial for breaking the trauma bond.

Lie: “You can’t trust yourself.”

Through gaslighting and subtle manipulation, narcissists aim to erode your confidence and make you doubt your own reality. They may deny objectively hurtful actions, leading you to question your perceptions. Recognizing this lie is essential for preserving your mental well-being.

Lie: “It’s Not My Fault”

Avoiding accountability is a hallmark of narcissistic behavior. The lie that “It’s not my fault” is deeply ingrained in their psyche. Even when appearing to take responsibility, they skillfully justify their actions, deflecting blame onto others or providing seemingly logical explanations that sidestep genuine accountability.

Lie: “It Will Get Better”

This lie often comes in the form of future faking, where a narcissist promises a brighter future to keep you engaged. Whether in romantic relationships or professional settings, they dangle the prospect of improvement, but the reality is that with a narcissist, things seldom get better; they typically worsen.

Lie: “I’m the Most Honest Person You’ll Ever Meet”

Narcissists often claim to be exceptionally honest, leveraging this assertion to gain trust. However, the truth is quite the opposite. Narcissists, by nature, are secretive and manipulative, adept at weaving intricate webs of deceit, even if they avoid outright lies. When someone emphasizes their honesty excessively, it’s a red flag. True honesty is demonstrated through actions, not proclamations.

Lie: “You’re Worthless”

The ultimate lie a narcissist tells is an attack on your self-worth. Through years of manipulation and gaslighting, they aim to erode your confidence and leave you feeling worthless. Recognizing this lie is crucial for reclaiming your sense of self and embarking on the journey of healing.

Understanding the lies that narcissists tell is a crucial step toward breaking free from the web of manipulation. By recognizing these common lies, individuals can empower themselves to heal and move forward on a path of self-discovery and recovery.

(Download my books:

• Bye-bye to My Narcissist — An easy-to-read Master Guide to Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. Download it here)
• My other book: Real Tales of Regular People: Surviving a Narcissist. Get it here)

Join my free Newsletter — Breaking Free.
It’s the №1 guide to Narcissistic abuse recovery.